Then one day LIFE happens
06 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
Me and Auntie at Kuya's wedding. Yes my hair is navy blue.
Its Auntie’s day. 3 years ago, Auntie went home to be with the Lord.
Every August 6th, I dedicate the post to her.
After she died, I never knew if I could be whole again. The grief, ate away at me. Things unsaid, time lost, memories never made. I thought I would never walk again without a gaping hole of loss. Thank God, for good friends that stayed close enough to let me heal, but far enough to give me space. For family that is all accepting of my brokenness. And for God, sweet amazing God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. Who, when I thought I was alone, angry and in despair, was not afraid of my being a mess, and loved me anyway. Loved me still. Loves me always.
For three years I keep putting one foot in front of the other. It hasn’t always been pretty or easy.You find out a lot about yourself when you let yourself just break. I found that some friends were for only the put-together me and not the broken me. I found that some expectations are silly to try and live up to. I found that imperfection is not the worst thing that can happen. I found that, fighting brokenness, just made me more broken. I found that sometimes the only thing that can heal you is God. So I gave into Him, and trusted Him for every breath when I thought even that was too hard.
And then eventually, and before I knew it. He does what He promised He would.
He restores. Rebuilds. Redeems.
So on this day, we honor your amazing life Auntie. As your living legacy of heirs.
To the only woman I would sit still long enough for, to have perm my hair
To the first woman who ever told me that I was special enough to change the world.
To the woman who taught me to be the kind of auntie that spoils her nieces and nephews.
To the woman who taught me that passion sometimes defies your education, your past experience or peoples’ expectations.
You would be proud of the woman I am becoming.
xoxo,
