Life in shades of Nae

Revisiting the mission field

25 Jan 2010 1 Comment

by therevchick in Random Thoughts Tags: filipino, mindanao, missionns, philippines, tribal

Karina a little girl I met in the tribal areas of the Philippines. She is holding on to that tissue, because she had never seen tissue before.

As some of you may know, I am going to the Philippines with a small group of folks March 9-19.  Many people are wondering why I want to return. I wrote the following during my day home in Cavite City decompressing from my first missions trip. This is why….

April 25, 2008

Dear people of Cotobato-
You may never read this, and I do not expect you to. But I wanted to put it out in the atmosphere somewhere. I wanted to say thank you, for accepting me, despite how different I look and different I talk, thank you for loving me just as I am. I believe I learned to do that from you. You have changed my life forever, and I am grateful for the woman, that you have made me.
People said that I would come back from your land forever changed, they said, that somehow I would find a little bit of myself on the mission field. Truthfully, I felt like they were being overdramatic. I had been uncomfortable before, I thought I knew what to expect.

I did not know that I, queen of saving all of her things, would want to literally strip off all that I had and clothe people I have never met. I did not know that the mere sight of your children cherishing chocolate that they might never taste again, (and I can get in line at Target on any given Monday) would make me cry. I found that your heart and hunger are unmatched by anything I have ever witnessed. I have seen some of you walk 3 hours in the heat, despite enemy territory, to hear the word of our Lord and I was humbled. Young people, it was unbelievable when I saw that you were willing to travel by literal truck loads piled one on top of the other for 6 hours.

The method of transportation the some kids rode in for Youth Meeting. Some traveled over 6 hours.

Then, to arrive tired and willing to sleep on a hard cement floor, and share one bathroom with 900 other kids-just because you expected an unbelievable move of God, your desperation for God to move for you challenged me. I did not know you would steal my heart one by one. My heart found a new song in you Cotobato. So many of you desperate to know it is okay to dream, desperate for me to tell you that He is God of even the smallest impossibility. That God, truly can make a way in the desert for you.
I have learned that my dream to preach all over the world was such a short sighted dream. Preaching is a part but not the whole of my purpose. My heart desires to stand for a people that might not know how to stand for themselves. My heart desires to be just as Jesus called us to be, walking, living, breathing hope, for a people that might now know how to hope for themselves.

When I was in Mindanao, it was as if, I disappeared. Honestly, for once, I did not wait for someone to tell me that my preaching was off the hook. I wanted no recognition, no props for a job well done. I wanted to cease existing; I desired to disappear behind the Lord. I wanted to make sure I was a gateway for the Holy Spirit and not a showman that knows the Holy Spirit. I wanted to be a gift to you, to truly, touch each and everyone you, to speak a difference over you, that I was called to speak even when no one was watching. Yes I am forever changed, as a child of God and minister of the Gospel. I thank you for showing me that it truly is not about me, and what I can bring to the table- but the God we serve. If I thought I knew humility, you taught me that I should not always trust what I know.

Yes I am forever changed. I pray that this understanding that I have inside of me never goes dull. I pray that I never forget Cotobato, and the people that stole my heart despite myself. When I return, because I know in the innermost parts of me, that I will- it will be like coming home again.

some of the young girls we met at a youth conference.